Come Back Sandy
by bluetoffee
Summary: set just after the college try kirsten and sandy talk.
1. Chapter 1

_This was my idea of what should have happened after Kirsten walked out of the benefit I didn't like the fact that Sandy didn't go after her so I wrote my own version! Finally putting I up now._

_I don't own the o.c. _

"Kirsten!" She barely had time to gulp the stuff down, she hoped he would just assume it was the water she had been drinking.

"What! Did the truth hurt, Sandy? Finally seeing that you're becoming really similar to the father-in-law you hated?"

"Kirsten." He grabbed her arm, he could see the tears in her eyes but most of all he could see the pain. "Hey I'm not your dad, okay. I admit I've been distracted lately but the hospital could really make a big difference. This is my way of helping those who can't help themselves. I'm not a lawyer, well at least I'm not practicing anymore, and I need to do something good."

"Yeah? Well what about your family? We need your help, Sandy. We need you. You're never at home anymore. You don't know what's going on with our boys. We never eat together. You come home in the middle of the night and you are out the house before I'm up. You don't go surfing anymore, or you hardly do. I can't remember the last time we made love; actually I can't remember the last time you kissed me. Just kissed me, for no reason just because you wanted to. You don't even kiss me goodbye or hello anymore because you don't want to wake me."

Sandy could feel the guilt well up, it wasn't that he hadn't wanted to kiss her it was just he really didn't want to wake her and lately he wasn't so sure she wanted to be kissed.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I love you, I love the boys. I guess I just got consumed by a job at the moment. You can understand that. Last year we never saw you when you were working with Julie and Carter on the magazine…"

"I can't believe you're using that against me!" Kirsten swung round so she was no longer in Sandy's grip and started walking away towards the car park.

"Kirsten I wasn't. I was just hoping that you could try and understand."

"You've changed Sandy. You're not the man I married."

"Don't say that, I'm still here. I still love you exactly the same. I want to be with you more than anything. I only took the Newport Group to do something that would make you proud so that all the years you spent there wasn't for nothing. Please Kirsten." He caught up with her and turned her round to face him. "What do you want me to do? What can I say?"

"Its not what you say or do now its what's going to happen tomorrow when you get a call about the hospital during dinner. Are you going to say I'm sorry we're having dinner right now I'll call you back later? I don't think so and that's just a little thing. Are you even going to be home for dinner tomorrow? Or any other day this week."

"Do you want me to quit the Newport Group? Would that make you happy? Would it show you how much I love you?

There was a noise in the bushes and within seconds a figure appeared behind

Kirsten, she turned around when she heard the noise.

"Just give me your wallet and purse and any other valuables you got and this will be over in just a few minutes."

"Oh my god, Sandy!" Sandy was already getting his wallet out when Kirsten started speaking. "I can't find my purse." She was so nervous she couldn't think straight never mind perform the simple task of taking her purse out.

"Shhh its alright, honey." Sandy had taken control and was getting her purse out when the man stepped closer to his wife.

"You're hot! I didn't think you were this nice when I saw you in the bushes. Have you guys got a car here? Cos I think we'll be taking a nice little ride!" sandy bristled with anger.

"I don't think so. Here is all the money we have on us and my car keys but get your hands off my wife." He pulled Kirsten out of the man's grasp and stood in between them. The guy laughed and turned away but he quickly lashed out at Sandy. Kirsten was in shock, within a few a seconds Sandy and the attacker were on the floor fists were flying. She couldn't tell what was going on until she heard a loud groan from Sandy. She wasn't sure if she could look but looked down and saw a lot of blood.

"What have you done! Sandy? Sandy? Speak to me!" the attacker got up and started running away. Kirsten got down on her knees, her face right next to her husband's.

"Baby, it's alright I'm okay just get help okay?" She couldn't believe he was the one telling her it was going to be alright when he was the one who had just been stabbed. "I love you, you and the boys you're the best thing about my life and I'm so sorry that I've let you down lately but you've got to know I love you. More than anything I love you."

"Sandy shh that's in the past now, although once you're better you owe me a vacation. Just you and me and then we can have another vacation with the boys too. How does that sound? Some alone time together and some family time." Sandy couldn't answer her though; he'd drifted out of consciousness. The tears were just overflowing she couldn't lose him. Not now, not ever.

_So its not the best but hey it was just an idea! I've been watching the last few episodes of the second season (my sister hasn't seen them) and I was actually surprised at how like Sandy is now Kirsten was I mean she was always at the Newport Group with Carter but its not shown the same cos Sandy doesn't really say too much about it. I'm not excusing Sandy now am just saying its food for thought._


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay so I decided that I too wanted to know if Sandy dies or not so here's another chapter. Hope you like it._

Kirsten's hands were shaking she was so worried, she didn't know what to do. Sandy was looking so much paler than he had done just minutes ago. She didn't have her cell, she'd left it at home tonight of all nights! She desperately tried to find Sandy's but then it dawned on her that he had probably given it to his attacker. She had no other choice than to leave him while she went for help.

She got inside as fast as her legs would carry her. Julie came rushing to her side as soon as she saw her.

"Kirsten is everything okay? You don't look so good."

"It's Sandy he's been attacked in the car park." Julie's face dropped, she wasn't expecting that. "Please get help quickly I've got to go back to him." She rushed back outside as Julie turned to Neil. He was already on his phone requesting an ambulance so she swiftly followed Kirsten out the door.

When she spotted Kirsten she was already on the floor cradling Sandy in her arms. Julie couldn't believe the sight in front of her. Sure she had assumed they were arguing outside and when she saw Kirsten she thought the row must have been big but she just imagined the make up would be just asbig at the end of the night too. She did not expect Sandy to be lying in his wife's arms bleeding out. She had never seen him so vulnerable before.

"Kirsten, its going to be okay. He's going to be just fine." Julie got down on her knees next to her friend and put her arm around her.

"I can't lose him Julie. I can't. My life ends without him. There is no me without us. Last summer, in rehab, was just the worst time of my life. It made me realise how much I need him. I was so annoyed with him tonight why couldn't I just say nothing!" She sighed she had been glad he had followed her out before, glad even that they were arguing because at least it meant they were talking. If they were arguing then they could make up. Now she just wished the whole night hadn't happened. "The past few months have been tough, the past eighteen months even have been tough, but we've never given up on each other. On our marriage."

"Don't give up now, kiks. He needs you, he loves you." Julie turned round as she heard her name called. It was Neil.

"Kirsten the ambulance is on the way." The three of them just stared at Sandy, watching him fight to breathe, helplessly. All of them were wishing there was something, anything, that they could do.

Sandy could hear his wife's voice but he couldn't talk back to her and he knew he couldn't open his eyes. He was pretty certain he was dying because images of his life kept flashing in front of him. The day he first met Kirsten, the day of their wedding, the day Seth was born, the day Kirsten's mother had died and Newport became their home for good, Seth's Bar Mitzvah, bringing Ryan home, his mom telling him she had cancer,the boys leaving for the summer, Kirsten's intervention and finally her face tonight during her speech. He had assumed this was what happened just before you die, you see significant parts of your life, sad or happy but all of meaning to you. He was scared he didn't want his conversation with Kirsten tonight to be their last. He had a lot of making up to do, he had let her and his boys down way too much latelyand dying would be like abandoning them. That was something he wasn't prepared to do. Suddenly he could hear more voices, new voices.

"Kirsten just move a bit sweetie let the paramedics do their work." Julie gently moved Kirsten to the side letting the paramedics in.

"Please help him. Please. He can't die. We need him." The tears were tripping both women as Sandy got placed on a stretcher and then in the ambulance.

"We'll follow you straight to the hospital. Do you want me to ring Seth and Ryan? Do you want me to drive Sandy's car there for you?"

"I'm not sure if we still have Sandy's car his attacker took the keys but am not sure if he actually ended up taking the car I don't remember hearing it. As for the boys thanks but I'll ring Ryan when I get to the hospital and Seth should be on his way home from Brown so I'll leave him a message to call me."

"Okay. You're going to need to talk to the police if he's got Sandy's carthenthey can track him. Neil and I will check on the way to the car. See you soon. Don't worry he's strong. He's going to be fine." Kirsten gave Julie the best smile she could muster up and settled into the ambulance. At least she could hold Sandy's hand. It was going to be a long night.

Once they arrived at the hospital she was separated from her husband. She hadn't understood too much of what was going on in the ambulance; it didn't look good so she wasn't sure that she wanted to know. After speaking to the police, she wasn't sure she was that much help she was in shock everything was a blur, she stepped out side and rang Ryan.

"Hey Ryan it's me." Not waiting for him to reply she carried on, she needed to get it over with quick. "I'm at the hospital. Sandy's been attacked tonight at the benefit. I don't know too much he's in with the doctors now. He was stabbed." Ryan couldn't believe this. The only man he'd ever truly cared about, loved even, had been stabbed.

"I'll be right there. Does Seth know?"

"No not yet. Have you heard from him?

"Yeah I spoke to him just before, about an hour or so before his flight I think. Do you want me to leave a message on his phone?"

"Thanks but I'll do it myself but you could pick him up from the airport for me."

"Sure I'll come to the hospital first though he's not due in for a while."

"Okay thanks Ryan. I'm sure everything is going to be fine. Sandy will probably up by the time Seth is here and he'll be annoyed that I scared you."

"I'm sure he won't be annoyed just glad to see you. Anyway I'll leave now. See you soon." They both hung up, both of them scared for themselves and the other but most of all Sandy. He had to pull through, the Cohen's weren't the Cohen's without him


	3. Chapter 3

Kirsten was relieved to see Ryan rushing towards her she hadn't expected him to get there so soon. As soon as we was close enough she pulled him in for a hug, something that surprised both of them but she really needed the comfort right now.

"What have they said? Where is he? Can we see him?" Kirsten didn't think she had ever heard Ryan ask so many questions. She sat him down next to the seat she had just been sitting on.

"Ryan I don't really know anymore than when I spoke to you on the phone. I've spoken to the police a bit more, they are looking for Sandy's car. Hopefully when they find it they can find the man who did this." Ryan had never seen Kirsten look so bad, not even when she was leaving for rehab.

"What happened? Was it just a fight or did he have a weapon." Kirsten told Ryan what had happened; leaving out their argument there was no need to tell him that. "He's going to be fine you know how strong he is. He would never leave you, you should have seen him over the summer when you were away he was a wreck. He's probably just giving you a little taste of what he went through." Ryan was hoping she would get that he was joking. He really wished now that he had some of Seth and Sandy's humour.

"I know he's going to be fine but he's going to owe me big time for this." She smiled knowing Ryan was only trying to make her feel better.

"Well I'd better go and get Seth. He will get mad if I'm late to pick him up." He could have stayed longer but he couldn't face it. He had to do something to keep his mind occupied or he would go mad. All he could think about was the one man he had come to love and respect, the man that gave him his chance, could be dying right now.

"Okay well I'll keep trying his cell so I can tell him about Sandy."

"I can tell him you know its no problem." He got up and they hugged. She was so close to tears but trying desperately hard not to show that to Ryan. "Will you be okay on your own for a while?

"Yes don't worry. Julie and Dr. Roberts will be here soon so I won't be on my own for too long." He looked at her one last time and then started to walk away.

It was only about ten minutes after he left when Julie arrived. Neil wasn't with her he was still at the benefit helping the police.

"Kirsten any news?" She rushed over and hugged her friend. She could tell she was on the verge of crying. As Kirsten went to answer her a doctor came over.

"Mrs Cohen?" Kirsten nodded. "I'm Dr. Collins I've been working on your husband since he came in. May I speak to you in private please?"

"If its okay can my friend just stay with me, I think I need the support."

"Yes that's fine. I don't know if you know this but your husband actually has two stab wounds the one in his side but there is also one up by his neck. He must be one strong man because from what we can tell he only collapsed after the second stabbing. He is going to need complete bed rest for several days if not a week at the least. He is going to feel very weak for sometime but there is no reason why he will not make a full recovery.No vital organs were hit by the knife he wasvery lucky.We're going to keep him in for a few days until we see how his movement his. It could be that he needs to stay in a bit longer but we'll wait and see. He is awake, very tired but awake. He's been asking for you, in fact you are the only thing he would talk about until I promised to come and get you. It was only then that he would talk about his injuries."

Kirsten didn't think she had ever felt more relieved than that moment. She was crying again but this time they were happy tears.

"That sounds typical of my husband. Julie would you mind ringing Ryan and telling him the good news. I don't want to keep him waiting but I want to see Sandy before he goes back to sleep." Julie nodded and gave Kirsten a quick hug before watching her walk away with the doctor.

When Sandy saw his wife his face lit up and she cried even more.

"Honey I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for scaring you and more importantly I'm sorry for tonight and all the other nights recently when I've acted like a jerk. I didn't mean to put the hospital before you or the boys I guess I just got carried away. Getting stabbed really puts things into perspective for you." She had hold of his hand now. "Hey stop crying you were meant to laugh at that!"

"Sandy I was so scared I thought you were going to die. When I saw your blood everywhere it was just awful." She kissed his hand and her sobs became louder.

"Kirsten I was scared too but its okay. I'm not going anywhere it would take a lot more than this to separate me from you, believe me. I survived your father for twenty years two stab wounds is nothing. I'm more concerned about getting us back on track. I'm done with the hospital project and the Newport Group. It's been no good for me and it's certainly been no good for us. As soon as I can I'm going to look at getting back into law if that's okay with you?" He was hoping she would be pleased.

"Sandy you don't have to give it up I just want to see you occasionally as do the boys. Also I want the self righteous guy back, the one who knows where the line is."

"I need you to know that you and the family are the most important thing in my life, always. I don't like the man I was becoming and I think if I stay there and carry on the project I will only get worse. I don't know what it is about the place maybe its evil but I want to go back to being a lawyer I miss it. I miss spending time with you." Kirsten couldn't help but smile. She was so pleased, he was back, the man she married whose biggest pleasure was stealing kisses with her when no-one was looking.

"As long as it's what you want you know I'll always support you." He took her head in his hands and kissed her. It caused him great pain but it was worth it. They separated after a minute and she took his hand again. "The boys should be here soon. I know they will be very relieved to see you up."

"That's great I can't wait to see them. I hope Seth enjoyed Brown. Before they get here I just want to ask you something. Don't get mad I just want to know." She looked at him; she thought he seemed very serious. "Did you drink tonight? I mean alcohol. I just, I thought I smelt it on your breath before. I just wantyouto be honest with me." She had almost forgotten that she had. She didn't know what to say.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks for the reviews. Roll on Thursday so we can find out what happens in the finale! I still don't own it or I would already know what happens!_

There was silence in the room. He looked at her she looked anywhere but at him. He waited for her to say something; she didn't know what to say. He knew from her reaction she had drank. She knew that he knew.

"Hey there Mr. Cohen. Nice to see you looking a bit better." The nurse that had been treating Sandy came through the door. She just wanted to check him over.

"Seeing my wife has that effect on me." He was still looking at his wife. The nurse laughed and Kirsten blushed. She was no longer holding his hand.

"Well unfortunately Mr. Cohen"

"Please call me Sandy."

"Okay Sandy, you are going to have to get some rest and it doesn't look like you are getting much while your wife is here."

"Please can't she just stay? I promise I'll rest I won't speak to her and she can go home as soon as I'm asleep." The nurse caved in. Kirsten felt guilty though because she all she wanted to do was get out of that room. She was starting to feel claustrophobic.

"Honey its alright I'll go but I'll come back later. You should save your energy for when the boys get here. They will be desperate to see you." Sandy grabbed her hand and gripped it tight.

"Please, Kirsten, just sit with me." The guilt swelled up in her. The nurse had finished and was looking at them.

"I don't know how anyone could deny those eyes, Mrs. Cohen." Kirsten laughed softly and the nurse left.

"We don't have to talk about anything. We can talk when we're feeling up to it, when I'm home if you want. I just want to be near you as soon as I'm asleep you can go home with the boys." She never could deny those eyes. She sat there with him, this time in a more comfortable silence, and stroked his arm until he drifted off to sleep.

When she was sure he wouldn't wake up she left the room and was surprised to find Ryan and Seth waiting for her. They had sent Julie home there was no need for them all to be there.

"How is he?" Seth looked totally stressed out. Kirsten went over and hugged both her boys.

"He's doing much better. He's asleep but you will be able to see him in the morning. So I suggest we all go home and get some sleep." They all knew they would have trouble sleeping, Kirsten had thought about staying at the hospital but the boys would have wanted to stay with her and there was no point in them all staying. At least if they were at home they could get some rest even if they couldn't sleep.

"So how was Brown?" Seth told herbits about his weekend concentrating mainly on the fact that he had seen Anna something which Kirsten noticed along with the fact that he barely mentioned Summer. She knew they had had a disagreement but she thought that would have been over by now. Obviously not.

They were all in the car by now; Julie had taken Sandy's car home before. She didn't really want talk about Seth and Summer now since he obviously didn't so she turned to Ryan.

"So how was Theresa? Did you find out anythin?." She was hoping that Ryan had spoken to Seth about this; he would need to talk to someone. From the lack of shock on Seth's face she guessed he had. Ryan told her a bit about their conversation mainly the fact that she said the boy wasn't his it was Eddie's. Kirsten wasn't sure what to say to that. She wasn't sure if she believed that, she wasn't sure if Ryan believed it. That boy looked so like him. However if Ryan was prepared to accept what she said that was that. Case closed.

The next morning, after none of them had slept very well, Kirsten went out to the pool house to see if Ryan was ready to go. She wanted to leave soon although things had been left awkward between her and Sandy she was still desperate to see her husband. As she approached the pool house, some of the blinds were still shut so she couldn't see in, she heard Seth speaking.

"This is the next best thing to getting into Brown and I've given up any hope of that. At least if I do this I will be in the same place as Summer and it literally is down the road from Brown."

"Sounds like it's the best plan you've had so far. It really is a good job you ran into Anna while you were over there." Kirsten didn't hear the rest she had had to walk away. She couldn't believe what she had heard. She moved back towards the kitchen. Seth had been lying to them all along about getting into Brown, he had even gone over there for the weekend when he hadn't got in. She didn't know what to do.

"Hey Mom." Both Seth and Ryan emerged from the pool house. "You okay?"

"Mmmm erm yeah I'm fine. I erm I was just coming to see if you were ready to go to the hospital. I want to get going."

"Okay we're ready to go when you are."

"Right good then lets go. You know what? We should probably take both cars then you boys can leave when you want." So that's what they did. Seth and Ryan took her car giving her some much needed time to think. There was so much going on with her family right now it was hard to keep it together. Sandy was in hospital, Seth was lying to them she had no idea what his plans were now and Ryan was quite possibly being denied his chance to be a father. She wasn't sure whether that was a bad thing or not. She was sure about one thingthough that it was only just nine o'clock in the morning and she wanted to drink already.


	5. Chapter 5

When she arrived at the hospital her boys were already there talking to Sandy. His face lit up when he saw his wife enter his room.

"Hey there. How you feeling this morning?"

"Fine now you're here."

"Ugh dad don't you're going to make me and Ryan sick!"

"Seth I'm lying in a hospital bed I think I'm allowed to say what I like." He was laughing, it was nice to have his son tell him off. He realised it had been a while since they had been together like this which was mainly his fault he guessed. It was nice to just be with them but a shame that it had to be in his hospital room.

Ryan moved to get out of his chair and let Kirsten sit down but she stopped him.

"I'm going to go and have a quick chat with the doctor. I won't be long." While she wanted to speak to the doctor she also wanted to give Seth and Ryan some time with Sandy. Also, if she was honest, she wanted to spend as little time as possible with Sandy at the moment. In fact she just wanted to be on her own since even Seth and Ryan had problems that they were dealing with at the minute.

By the time she got back to the room the boys were waiting outside.

"Where have you been, mother?"

"Just went for a coffee after I spoke to the doctor. What are you doing outside?"

"The nurse came in to check on him and when she eventually came out she said he had gone back to sleep. She was in there long enough! I mean jeez I don't know what she was doing to him."

"Seth!" Kirsten exclaimed while giving him the look. "You two can go back home if you want and come back later when he's awake again." Having their own issues to sort out they both decided that this was a good idea and left.

When Sandy woke up no-one was in his room besides him. He felt sad, disappointed, and maybe even guilty that Kirsten was not by his side when he woke up. He hadn't realised that his marriage had been this strained. If the situation had been reversed he would have never left Kirsten's side but obviously he had pushed her away recently since she didn't even want to stay with him for a couple of hours this morning. He could understand last night but it felt harsh this morning.

He couldn't see her but his wife was just outside his room. She had been deliberating over whether to stay or go home for a little while. Her head and her heart where sending mixed messages. While she knew if she was lying in the hospital bed Sandy would never have left she also knew that if she stayed too long they would have conversations that she just wasn't ready to have yet. Plus the Sandy she knew recently might not have noticed that she was in hospital since the Newport Group had taken over his life!

When she walked inthe guilt swept over her. He was awake and she had just decided that she was going to go home. She wasn't sure if she felt more guilty for the fact that she was going to go home and leave him or that she's left him to wake up on his own.

"Hey! I didn't know you had woken up. I'd just stepped out to get some air.How are you feeling?"

"Okay. I've only just woken up but I feel tired already." He smiled at her, he was glad that she had at least been there before when he was asleep. That smile could melt a thousand hearts. It got hers every time. This was no exception. She sat down next to him and he took her hand in his.

"Are you okay? You know you don't have to be here all the time. I know there are plenty of things to keep you occupied between the boys and Julie." This was the old Sandy talking, the one who always thought of his wife before anything else. He didn't want her to feel bad, to feel like she had to stay with him. His behaviour lately probably didn't warrant much from her he had to admit.

She felt guilty again. He seemed to be able to tell that she didn't want to be there. She forgot how well he could read hersince lately he hadn't been reading her at all.

"Sandy don't be ridiculous. I want to be here with you." She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself or him. "Do you want me to get you some lunch or put the TV on for you?"

"No thanks. I just want you to sit with me for a while." Kirsten had to hold the tears back.

They sat holding hands in an awkward silence for a while but Sandy couldn't take it any longer.

"Kirsten I'm sorry. Really sorry, for everything. The past two years have not been the best to say the least. I'm sorry for the fact that we stopped communicating when the boys left for the summer and that I gave you the impression that Rebecca was more important to me than you are. It was and never will be the case. I'm sorry that I let you drown your sorrows"

"Sandy its not"

"Honey let me say this. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you or help you and that I had to leave you in rehab. Finally I'm sorry that I put the Newport Group before the family. If I could change anything or do anything differently it would be what's happened between us the last two years. I thought when you came home after the summer it would go back to normal I guess I didn't really want to acknowledge that anything was different. Then things at work just kind of spiralled and I don't know it just got out of control and I didn't realise until it was too late. I'd already put another strain in our marriage. I promise you it has never been my intention to hurt you. If you don't know how much I love you by now I'll prove it to you when I get out of here. Honey I love you more than you could possibly imagine."

"Sandy!" The tears had already started. She didn't know another man like him; he was so prepared to wear his heart on his sleeve. "You don't have to prove anything to me. I know you love me and the boys too. The problems that we have had recently are both our faults, last year and this year. We need to get back what we had before them. We need to go back to spending time together and time as a family."

"You need to tell me when things aren't good. Unfortunately I'm not always going to be able to tell unless you mention it. Its going to take a while to get back what we had but honey we can do this. If there's one thing in my life that I'm positive about its that you and me are meant to be." She kissed his forehead. "About your drinking do you want to talk about it?" She had thought for sure that she wouldn't but it just started to come out.

"I, uh, I did drink last night yes but it was just one glass and it's the first time. It's been coming though. The angrier I've been getting at you the more desperate for a drink I get. I'm not saying it's your fault that I drank I'm just telling you how I feel." This was hard for her she wasn't great at sharing her feelings even though it was Sandy. "I'm sorry. I'm going to go to an AA meeting later when the boys get here."

"Kirsten you don't have to apologise to me. I'm sorry I kept making you angry. When I'm out I want to start coming to meetings with you if you want me to? I don't think I've handled this whole situation well and I want to start making up for that."

"I'd love for you to come to some meetings." She was starting to feel so relieved that they had finally really spoken about stuff. Not even just the Newport Group but everything. He felt the same, although he still felt guilty since this conversation should have taken place months ago. Now he just wanted things to go back to normal which was Seth and Ryan walking in on them kissing in the kitchen, family dinners and breakfasts and spending some quality time alone with his wife.

They went back to sitting in silence but this time it was comfortable. Kirsten was now virtually laying next to him hands still entwined, bodies asclose as possible. Sandy fell asleep again and Kirsten just watched him. She felt relieved that now she just had her sons problems to solve.

_Okay I'm not sure whether to carry this on or not. I mean it did start off as a one-shot! So any thoughts or suggestions would be great!_


	6. Chapter 6

_So I thought the last chapter was going to be the last but then I decided that things between them would take more time to solve than that and I'd already thought about this chapter. Sooo am not sure how much I like this but here it is anyway._

"Does anyone want to start the meeting off?"

"I had a drink." Kirsten didn't know what was up with her today she just kept blurting her thoughts out before she could even think. All eyes were on her as she stood and made her way to the podium. "Last night I went to a hospital benefit, got very angry with my husband and drank on my own outside. It was just one glass and I regretted it immediately after. I don't know why fighting with Sandy makes me so desperate to drink but it does and I've been getting more and more desperate recently."

"Does your husband know you drank?"

"Yes. He followed me out and well to cut a long story short he smelt it on my breath. We got mugged and my husband got stabbed." She heard a few gasps. "He's ok, he'll have to be in hospital for a few days but he will be fine. We spoke today about my drinking, I know he doesn't like talking about it he thinks it's his fault but the truth is I need to talk about it. I need to talk to him about; he's the only person I think that's ever truly understood me. I don't know if he does anymore but we have to keep trying." She stepped away from the podium and made her back to the seat.

"Kirsten, look how far you have come. You may have drunk last night but from the sounds of things you have not let it get far. You have come to a meeting, you have spoken honestly with your husband and more importantly you have found and acknowledged a cause for this. However you say you don't know why fighting with Sandy makes you desperate to drink but I think you probably do. From what you've said in the meetings Sandy was your rock until fairly recently now it doesn't seem to be the case."

"I'm not blaming Sandy for my drinking, it was my choice."

"I'm not blaming him either Kirsten but the change in your relationship has had a huge impact on you. When you first started coming to these meeting you spoke a lot about your dad he seemed to be the major factor in your drinking, at least for you. It took a while for you to talk about the loneliness you felt because your husband was helping an ex girlfriend." Alan sure remembered what everyone said very well. "Now you are or you have been lonely again. You miss someone who is actually there but has changed and that's ok, its natural. You've been in love with him for a long time and he doesn't seem to be that man anymore so it hurts. Like hell I'm sure. Fact is, if you really don't want to drink again you need to make sure that you both look at what has happened and decide the future together. You've got to be in control of the situation so you don't find the dink controlling you again."

Alan moved on after that, listening to others tell her their stories. Kirsten was glad she had spoken up twice in the past few hours but the AA meeting had left her feeling like there was a still a long way to go. She would have to really talk to Sandy, a big talk. She felt like all she had done today was talk but Alan was right. Sandy would have to talk about it so he could see where she was coming from. It wasn't just about the Newport Group he had changed, maybe she had to and sooner or later they would have to acknowledge this.

She went straight to the hospital after the meeting; she thought Seth and Ryan might be there.

"Hey! How are all my boys?" The three men looked up as she entered the room; she looked more relaxed than she has done for a while.

"Hey honey." Sandy patted the space next to him on the bed and Ryan shifted over a bit so there was more room for her.

"So Ryan is everything okay? Have you spoken to Theresa?" She sat down by Sandy looking at her son.

"Yeah I spoke to her she says he's not mine. Sandy will fill you in on it." Ryan didn't really want to talk about it anymore.

"Right, dude, you ready to go? We have a lot of planning to do and not a lot of time." Seth saw his mom look at him for an explanation. "I'm getting Summer back mother!"

"Well sounds like you two will be in for a long night."

"Oh ye of little faith. I'll have you know, parents, that Ryan and I are the masters at this sort of thing." With both parents now laughing the boys left the room. Sandy took his wife's hand.

"Honey you look a lot better than before. Did you go to your meeting?"

"Thanks Sandy but you're the one who is in hospital I should be saying that to you."

"I don't think I probably look all that different from a couple of hours ago though. So did you go to AA?"

"I did, it's made me feel a lot better about things. I know we talked before but there's more I need to say and I know you don't like talking about my problem but if I'm going to really beat it we need to. I need to be able to talk to you about it." Sandy squeezed her hand.

"Whenever you want to talk about it I'm here and I'll listen. I know I haven't wanted to speak about it but that's going to change. I'm learning to deal with the fact that I'm to blame. Not all to blame." He could see she was about to correct him. "but lets face it without Rebecca last year and the Newport Group this year things would be a lot different."

"You could say that about a lot things though and at the end of the day it's not going to change the fact that I'm an alcoholic. Alan, the group leader, says I drink or want to drink when I'm lonely and yeah that's true but sometimes I want to drink just because I want to drink and I can't because I'm not strong enough to just have one. I feel bad because I know there are times when you want to drink but you don't because you know I can see. The first few months after rehab I knew you had had a drink because you wouldn't kiss me. I need to be able to talk to you about this type of stuff; this is never going to go away now. We have to find a way of coping with it that works for both of us."

"Well we'll find one. When I get out of this bed we're going to be spending lots of time with each other so we can talk as much as you like along with doing other things of course." He smiled at her. "I'm going to stop drinking too I think it will be better for both of us. Before you say anything I want to do this when you were in rehab I didn't drink. I couldn't brink myself to look at the stuff even but then you seemed to want me to drink so I did but the fact is I don't need it." She leant down and kissed him.

"Thank you. Now tell me about Ryan because I thought that baby looked a lot more similar to Ryan than Eddie."


End file.
